Not all of your emotions are your own. Do you know of the barometer which rises and falls in response to changes in pressure in the surrounding atmosphere? You, as a field of energy, are like that. The more closely aligned is your energy to another being, the more reactive may you be. Be aware of this the next time that you enter into conversation with another, whether or not you are physically present. If suddenly you experience a shift in your own energy to an acute emotion such as frustration or anger, stop. Rise above your human side and shift your focus to the other’s field of energy. Could that frustration or anger be theirs? Can you separate yourself from that emotion? Yes. It is quite simple with awareness.
Be aware that you are not your physical body and you are not the other’s emotions. State firmly in response to the emotions you are feeling: “Not mine.” In this moment of awareness, intention, and choice, note the absence of distress. This is freedom. It comes with awareness that you control the barometer.
Before I retired, I often was aware of this phenomenon. In my mind, I called it “Don’t forget your monkey”. People would come to me, seeking to dump a situation and just walk away. I was there to help problem solve, generate alternatives, brainstorm, and support. I was not there to be a dumping station. We were always best when working cooperatively together. So, while I was available to help and a resource on how to care for, feed, and raise someone’s particular monkey, I was not the monkey keeper. I had my own monkeys to take care of. I was there as a loving and supportive consultant, but I was also aware that the answers lay in their own final resolution, not my “fixing”. In other words, I made sure they didn’t forget to take their monkey when they left my office, and I continued to take care of my own monkey.The learning comes in the participation, not just being an audience member.