You must make challenging choices quite often whilst playing your human role. Do you defend yourself when threatened or stand as a pillar of light and love? Do you not realize that you are part of a dance? There are no set answers. There are situations that are fluid. Flow with them and respond appropriately as you are guided. Choose the highest option that you feel will produce the highest results moment by moment. You are dealing with others who are in varying stages of understanding what the roles in this drama are all about. Do you see now why flowing is so important as LIFE evolves?
You are so very loved.
There was a time i would defend myself, and defend others, and I assumed automatic physical harm would “settle a score”. That’ll “work” only for a while. A degree of maturing was the reason it stopped working, for me and for others… well, it never really was a defence of course. It was anger. Pure anger and if it was pushed, i would let loose to the point where i would literally not know the rage i was releasing because i would literally go blind to my doings. Literally, really.
Did it ever feel better, or resolved, …did it ever settle a score? Never. And like the song says, I “gave love a bad name”. People started distancing themselves for i was seen as the loose cannon.
Finally, so did i. The clarity of my doings became evident.
What a horrific feeling overcame me when i realized i did not know how to resolve my anger… MY anger!!! That’s when the journey toward healing began. Ive been doing pretty good. 🥴 Actually, i havent had any physically violent outbursts for years but… if youre listening, beware… violence truly does try to camouflage itself when you dont know how to rid yourself of anger, more than just stopping a singular act. You know it as mental violence, emotional violence, social violence, sarcasm, rudeness, manipulation, pretence, etc., and damn… its a camelion.
Then it did a 180 degree turn, and I said i didn’t care. I tried to stop caring. It too is a camelion. I would do anything but love the focus of my anger. Of course i would. I didn’t love me.
One has pick as to the the options of their choices …. and the journey toward the decided choice, may well bring you back to where it all started…. to start again, or ….make another choice even if you still dont have the resolve. The journey is a camelion… when we are camelions.
How surprising is that.
Do i still have residual crap from those years? You bet i do. Am i letting that bother me? Not usually. Usually i can walk around and away from it for the crap that it is. And usually is always good.