Hidden Gifts

It was interesting that this message came today. I was supposed to selling my home in 5 days and I was very excited about moving, but the sale fell through last night. I labeled this situation as bad and spent the entire night crying. I trust that there is a plan for everything that has happened, but can not put aside the disappointment and sadness that I am feeling. This message made me pause and think….. maybe it is a blessing of something else that is coming. I appreciate you sharing Sanaya’s messages more than I can say. I anxiously await them everyday and my guidance……

This is perfect timing! I just got a 30 day notice to leave my studio that I do massages from. I have no idea where I will be going or if I’ll even continue with massages, but I’m asking to see this more as an opportunity rather than a crisis! Sure this is a big change but I feel ready.
I knew a change was coming. because I recently had a healing session with Debra Martin. I was led to her by Brenda Baker after I heard Suzanne’s stories on Brenda, especially the one about her boa! It seemed like Brenda was trying to get me to connect the dots to contact Debra by coming to me in a dream/vision, asking me “where’s MY boa?”! I couldn’t figure it out at first because in the dream she HAD her boa on and so did her spirit guide/friends beside her! These spirits and Brenda were saying that as if she WAS me in that dream. She was sad and her spirit friends were sad too, and the boas were all black! all reflecting the state my life was in at the time. She was asking me where MY boa was because I had very little joy or beauty in my life and I wasn’t living a very authentic life of who I really am at my core. I was barely functioning, if I am really honest.
I know this barely makes sense, but I decided to find out more about Brenda because I knew she had had a profound deep emotional healing before she transitioned, with a healer, so I went in search of who that was. Wow. I found her, Debra Martin, and was able to connect with her. through emails. At first I thought it was way over my head the amount of money I needed for a session!!! But I kept toying with the idea that it was possible for me mainly because of all the nudges from Brenda!!! so I kept asking God to send the money and he did right at the exact time I needed it. I won’t go into the details of that story, she interviewed me (Carol Was Reborn) on her goldenmiracles1 you tube channel to get more info, but I was so fortunate to be a part of Suzanne Giesemann’s community because it led me to my own healing. Healing from many years of dogma and religious traumas and corporal punishment from my parents (because that’s all they knew and thought they were doing good by their ways of parenting). And the many layers of shame and guilt from my own self-hatred and self-abusiveness, all compounded inside of me. It left me as a functioning adult, sure, but just barely, and I knew there was deeper emotional pain I had stuffed inside me before I even had language to know what to do with all of it. It felt as if I could never “be saved” or “helped” and it seemed I would go around and around in the beliefs that I was somehow flawed or bad, no matter how much spiritual stuff I had immersed myself in. I took Suzanne’s classes, did monthly mentoring sessions each month and I studied tons of NDEr’s and thought to myself I need to get into that stream of love and then I can be free! It took a healing like Debra’s and her spiritual surgeons to remove all that gunk, to set me free, to realize that love was already in me and with me… It took Brenda being on my case for several months until I realized why she was there in the first place! I even went to the In-Person workshop of “Shedding your Skin” in Carbondale, CO this past summer, to see if I could shed some of the layers I had heaped on myself from all the years of self-abuse and emotional stuff. In this workshop, Suzanne talked about Brenda even (the slide with all those hands on Brenda as she passed~ oh my!!) and I said. OKAY< What ARE you trying to tell me? It took several months STILL to finally piece it all together but I'm so glad she stayed with me!!!. At the end of Debra's session, Brenda put HER boa around my neck (and it was a brightly colored one, rainbow colors, not black!) as if I had "graduated" (like the school principle that she was in life) indicating that I can finally be free to live my life from a place of love and joy and authenticity!
So now I'm open to the newness of this recent event of this 30 day notice from my studio. It's not something done TO you, it's all being done FOR you, was one of the things Debra's healing session taught me. I do believe that from Suzanne's teachings I learned how to connect the physical evidence dots that helped me get my little tail end into a personal healing session for myself. So thank you to you Suzanne and to Brenda and Debra, especially Debra. I will forever be grateful for this experience. It was truly a Spiritually Transformative Experience and my life is so much freer and I'm so happy I can't stop smiling! And I hope Suzanne and Lynette, that you don't mind, that I borrowed Brenda, your personal spiritual guide! But believe me, I didn't summon her, she came to ME! Thank you, this really teaches a lot about the WEB that Suzanne talks about too. HOW WE ARE ALL CONNECTED!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Much love to everyone in this Suzanne Giesemann/Sanaya Community!